Who would have thought that Danny Boyle of Trainspotting and Slumdog Millionaire would have landed the launching spectacular of the London Olympics? But there again, if he can make blockbuster films out of heroin abuse and extreme poverty, maybe he’s the man to transform the heady mixture of corrupt scamming, political posturing, pure athleticism, and the lust for life that is the Olympics into something we can all relate to. I offer a prize of a free tour for two to the wittiest connection, in less than 50 words, between Friday’s event and Trainspotting the film. Offer closes 2300 hrs GMT Monday 30 July, winning entry published the following day, anonymously if requested. Tour can be taken any time in the next year or so, by arrangement.